Hi there, fella. I was extremely humbled that you decided we were close enough in our relationship for you to stand right next to me on the escalator at the airport. It’s true, I only just met you as we happened to get to the entrance to the escalator at the same time, with me slightly ahead of you. But still, I can see how you thought that we were close enough in our friendship to take the leap and jump up there with me.
I was particularly surprised considering there were barely any other people on the escalator at the time, but that’s just the kinda friend you are. I can imagine if we went to the Waffle House together you might sit right next to me in the booth. “Booyah, that’s friendship right there,” I can imagine you saying.
I expected after we shared that 90 second ride to the top, you might want to chat or grab a coffee or something at the top, but no, you powered on to your flight as if we were perfect strangers. I like your style.
The people that passed us going down the escalator gave us a few odd looks, didn’t they, big guy? Almost as if we were a couple of dudes standing awkwardly next to each other for no reason whatsoever when there was plenty of room to ride on separate steps. Those simpletons.
And you smelled good, too. I normally don’t get to smell other people on the escalator because, well, usually they are on their own steps and not mine. I’m guessing the night before you helped yourself to a few extra helpings of garlic sauce and then grabbed a coffee here at the airport this morning. Living life to the fullest. That’s so you.
Hopefully I will meet you again one day. I won’t recognize you, unfortunately. Even though we were right next to each other for an impossible minute and a half, I didn’t turn and face you for fear that we might accidentally turn at the same time and our lips would touch. That would have made this experience awkward. Plus you were clearly behind me when we got on the escalator, I mean there’s no debating that even though you aggressively and swiftly jumped up onto my…sorry, “our” step right at the same time I did, so I never got the chance to see your face.
But if I get on an elevator one day by myself and someone comes to the very back with me and stands right next to me, I’ll know its you. Then we can finally meet, and I can ask you….what the hell is wrong with you, you psycho?